Abandoned
by Nejilovesyaoi
Summary: What if, when Soubi and Ritsuka found out Seimei was alive, Ritsuka left Soubi for Seimei? Will Kio be able to fix Soubi's broken heart while trying to ignore his own? SoubixKio. Attempts at suicide. Shounen ai.


A/N: Hello! This is my first Loveless fanfiction, so be nice. Also, this has Soubi being really OOC so don't read if you don't like a really depressed Soubi. Also, some of you might want to kill me for the plot, but please don't I like living. So for those who might not like this I give you the summary so you can decide for yourself.

_Summary:__ When Ritsuka realizes that Seimei is alive, he runs away with him, leaving Soubi with a broken heart. Who will be there to pick up the broken pieces? Why Kio of course._

_Warning:__ this fanfiction is rated M for a reason. It is a yaoi, and there is a bit of attempted suicide. So if you don't like over all depressing situations please don't read. But for those who aren't deterred by this info please enjoy this lovely fic._

_Disclaimer:__ I don't own Loveless!! Dang it!! _

Abandoned

Aoyagi Ritsuka had left him. He had left him to go with his brother Aoyagi Seimei. Agatsuma Soubi was broken now because he had fallen in love with Ritsuka, only to have him abandon him for his twisted and obsessive brother.

Soubi had watched Ritsuka's face as he realized that Seimei was still alive. The emotions had warred with each other as they passed over his face – confusion, betrayal, sadness, happiness – until they had finally stopped at love. Undying love and adoration. The look on Ritsuka's face when he saw Seimei alive was one Soubi had never seen Ritsuka give him. He knew then whom Ritsuka really loved.

Then Seimei had held his arms open wide and Ritsuka had run to him without hesitation. Without looking back to see the expression of extreme pain and heartbreak that had overtaken Soubi's face. Seimei had looked up at him though and smirked at him evilly. He had then sent Nisei to attack Soubi. Soubi had tried to fight back, but without his sacrifice he had fallen.

He had watched, from where he fell, as Seimei left with Ritsuka in tow. Ritsuka never looked back at him. Soubi had picked himself up from the puddle of blood he was causing and had gone to where Seimei had thrown Kio's limp body and was glad to realize he was still alive. He had dragged himself and Kio out of _The Seven Voices Academy_, and back to his home.

Soubi remembered how Kio had woke up and he had broken down while telling Kio what had happened. Kio had held him as he cried and then had carried him to bed after he had passed out from exhaustion and blood loss. Kio had cleaned his wounds and had comforted him as he broke down inside. He had picked up the pieces of Soubi's broken heart and put them back together with his smile and general hyper personality.

Soubi had slowly come back to himself with the help of Kio's gentle coaxing. Kio had been his crutch as he healed. He remembered how Kio had avoided the subject of Ritsuka and Seimei. Instead Kio had gone back to his old habit of flirting with Soubi and "offering" himself to Soubi.

Soubi would just smile and dismiss the offers as Kio just trying to cheer him up. Kio would just smile after these gentle let downs, and then go straight back to his hyper antics in his attempts to keep Soubi's mind off of the painful thoughts.

Kio had woken up the night that Ritsuka left Soubi and watched desperately as the usually cold and emotionally unreadable man broke down in front of him. He had embraced Soubi and offered his warmth to comfort him. He had held Soubi close to him until he had cried himself to sleep.

Kio worked hard to piece together Soubi's shattered heart. Watching Soubi slowly recover made Kio extremely happy. He started flirting with Soubi again. He saw that this caused Soubi to be happy, but he also saw sadly that Soubi thought that he was only joking around. Soubi didn't realize that Kio really loved him and his rejection broke his own fragile heart.

He would put a huge fake smile on his face after these rejections, and go back to being his hyper self. He hid the sadness that clouded his heart from his friend because he did not want to burden him after his painful blow. Soubi never noticed the depression that had fallen upon Kio, and he never saw the painful expressions Kio held but quickly covered, every time Soubi rejected him. Kio was breaking down inside and it hurt to just be around Soubi, let alone pretend to be happy and smile when his blonde-haired friend rejected him.

It had been six months since Ritsuka had run away with Seimei, and Soubi seemed to be doing a lot better than he had in a long time. But Kio knew that deep down Soubi still loved Ritsuka, and that his heart could not be open to anyone but the younger Aoyagi brother.

Kio was alone at Soubi's house. He had moved in there to help Soubi. He was sitting on his bed with his knees clutched closely to his chest. Sobs racked his body as tears ran freely down his cheek. Soubi had left to shop for dinner tonight after another round of Kio "offering" himself to him and then being rejected. Kio had smiled a fake smile again until Soubi had completely left the home, and then he had broken down and he could now not stop the tears and sobs that filled the room from his heartbreak.

He had been holding in his feelings for so long that it had eaten away at him. He had finally broken down, and he felt completely empty. Kio got up and walked mechanically towards the bathroom. He reached to open the door to the medicine cabinet above the sink, and removed a razor. He stared down at the razor in his hands and then at the pale, flawless skin of his wrist. His eyes were dull, and his face was devoid of any feeling. He raised his hand holding the razor and brought it down and quickly and forcefully cut his wrist. His expression didn't change as the sensitive skin of his wrist gashed open and blood flowed warmly down his arm. He could not feel the sting of the wound through the emptiness he felt, and gladly welcomed the darkness that overtook him as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Soubi opened the door to his and Kio's house, and walked into a house devoid of any noise or movement. This seemed a little odd to him because usually Kio would be painting or would run up to him before he had completely entered the house and start talking to him so fast he couldn't understand anything he was saying. But there was nothing.

He walked into the kitchen and put the groceries away and looked for a note that would tell him where Kio had gone. But there was nothing. His brows scrunched up in confusion. Kio didn't usually leave without telling him about a million times where he was going and when he would be back, or writing a five page detailed note of exactly why he was leaving. But there was nothing to find to explain the blonde's absence.

Soubi shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He walked towards the bathroom; he wanted to take a shower to relax. He walked into the dark room and stepped in something wet and silently cursed Kio for not drying the floor after stepping out of the shower. He switched on the light and the sight that met his eyes made him gape in horror.

Kio, pale and lifeless, lay in a huge puddle of his own crimson blood. Soubi paled and grabbed a towel as he kneeled down next to Kio. He quickly checked for a pulse and was glad to find that he had one, but it was very feint. He covered the bleeding wrist and applied pressure to try and staunch the bleeding.

Soubi took some medical tape out of the medicine cabinet and taped up the towel. He then picked Kio up and carried him to his bed. He went to work cleaning Kio's wound and bandaging it. When he was done he was kneeling beside the bed watching the slowly rising chest of his only true friend. The friend that had helped him after his whole world had come crashing down around him.

Soubi thought about how Kio had been acting lately. He had been acting less hyper, and would lock himself away in his room for long hours. He claimed to be working on a project for class, but Soubi took all the same classes and knew that they had no projects right now. Soubi had also noticed the way Kio's eyes had a hint of pain hidden behind the bright smile and perky exterior.

Soubi had chocked it up to Kio being upset about the grade he had gotten on their last assignment. He hadn't really thought about it too hard. But now that he reflected on recent events, he realized the way his friend would jokingly (he thought) flirt with him and then would just play it off with a smile when Soubi would reject him every time.

Now that Soubi thought about it, the huge smile had always looked strained and he remembered how he had thought on numerous occasions that he had heard Kio trying to stifle sobs when he had locked himself in his room. Soubi had never really thought about it because he had always been to caught up in his own depressing thoughts. He had never thought to think about Kio's feelings. Kio had been the strong force that had saved him, and he had seen him as the rock that could never crumble. How wrong he had been.

Soubi's heart flopped in fear of the thought that Kio had almost died because Soubi had been too self-centered to see how much Kio was hurting. The whole time he was hurting the one person who had been there to heal his shattered heart. Soubi dropped his head in his hands in shame. He had been hurting his only friend and the reality of almost losing him made him hate himself.

Soubi couldn't explain it, but his heart felt so heavy, and he felt a feeling he had never really experienced before. Was it love? He hadn't even felt something this strong for Ritsuka, and he had thought he loved him. But maybe what it had really been was a longing for something solid and comforting. With Kio he felt that and he felt a warmth that was indescribable.

He loved Kio. The thought barely registered in his brain before he knew it was true. Suddenly, a dull groan alerted him that Kio was waking up. He lifted his head to see Kio's eyes flutter open.

Kio opened his eyes, and blinked until the blurriness dissipated. Quickly the pain in his wrist mad him hiss and remember what he had done. He looked over and when he saw Soubi looking at him with and intense expression on his face, he turned his face in shame and felt the tears flow down his cheek.

Soubi grabbed Kio's chin and turned it so Kio was looking at him. He brought his lips down to gently brush against Kio's. Kio's eyes widened and the tears flowed harder down his face. A sob racked through his body and Soubi drew him into a tight embrace. Kio gripped the front of Soubi's shirt tightly. "Don't you ever try to kill yourself again Kio," Soubi whispered into the man's ear. Kio nodded vigorously and buried his face deeper into Soubi's chest.

Soubi tightened his grip on Kio. Kio drew back enough to look up at Soubi and say, "I'm sorry Soubi." A tear made its way down his cheek again and he rubbed it away furiously.

Soubi grabbed his hand and said, "Don't be sorry Kio. It's my fault for not realizing how you were feeling. I'm sorry Kio, you helped me and all I did was hurt you." Kio shook his head and hugged Soubi tightly.

"You don't know what that means to me Soubi," Kio whispered. Soubi smiled down at him and rested his forehead on Kio's and sighed. He was truly happy after being lost in sadness for so long. He couldn't believe how this one man could come in and banish the sadness from his heart and fill it with so much warmth.

Soubi moved onto the bed and drew the covers over him and Kio. He brought Kio closer to him and wrapped his arms around Kio's waist. He just wanted to hold Kio close to him so he knew that nothing bad would ever happen to him again. He couldn't lose anyone else; his heart couldn't handle it. "I love you Kio," Soubi whispered into his ear.

Kio smiled, "I love you too Soubi," he whispered back. They stayed like that until they both faded into a deep sleep. Both were content and comfortable in the other's arms. They knew that they were meant for each other and know one else would ever mean as much to them as each other.

_Okay, I ended not writing smut like I thought I would. I mean I've never written a fanfiction where there wasn't some bit of smut. But I didn't think it seemed plausible that either of them would just go straight into sex after something like that had happened. So, I ended it with some fluff. Much more plausible right? Please review, and here's hoping that you keep reading my fics._


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